


Bemused Merriment

by Bunnywith



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Red Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-18
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 14:31:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnywith/pseuds/Bunnywith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose and Kanaya discover a playground. Kanaya has no idea what to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bemused Merriment

“Please advise me, what are these metal constructs?”

Rose quirked a brow, or rather she would have if she wanted to betray her confusion at Kanaya’s question. Was Kanaya attempting to real-life troll her by feigning idiocy? Could it be that there was a remote possibility that she truly was ignorant to the answer? She considered both vastly overstating the significance of said constructs in an attempt to counter-troll her, assuming that she was indeed attempting a real life trolling, or submitting to telling her the truth on the off chance that she indeed had no idea what playground toys were.

Reminding herself that Kanaya viewed silverware as a ‘technological marvel’, she opted to side with the latter.

“It’s play equipment. Here on Earth we refer to them in a group as ‘toys’, though they each possess individual names and ways in which to operate them, though the intended outcome is the same.”

“But they are all assembled in different forms and from different materials. How is it that they all are meant for the same function?” Kanaya pressed her hand against the cool metal of one structure, examining it and attempting to figure out how to operate it. “What is this one? And what am I supposed to accomplish?

“This one is called ‘Monkey bars’. I dislike this one immensely; I never was very good with it.” Poor upper arm strength.

“Have the monkey bars offended you personally?” Kanaya asked, eyeing either end of the toy, spotting the metal rungs that formed a miniature vertical bridge.

“They have.” Rose nodded, recalling one particularly infuriating run-in with the monkey bars in which she had, for the first time, successfully maneuvered herself halfway across the topmost rungs, lost her gripping and fell into the sand below, getting sand in her shoes, her underwear, and sustaining a minor injury that had been gruesome to her child self. A few layers of skin had been separated from a pad of fat below her middle finger on the inside of her hand. There had been no blood, but the injury left her nerve endings dangerously close to being exposed, creating a sensation of pain when she repeatedly poked it, never considering the fact that she had the free will to stop poking her injury.

Her mother had responded to the injury by sarcastically medicating it with ‘kisses’, then wrapping Rose’s entire hand in gauze, and securing the fabric with ribbon she had had specially crafted no doubt to humiliate Rose. The ribbon read I LOVE YOU ROSE in an unending stream. In revenge, Rose had taken out an ad in a national newspaper and published an essay on it that spoke at length of her mother’s passive aggressive attacks on her, disguising them as acts of motherly devotion. She’d ended the essay with a flourish, telling her mother she appreciated all that she did for her and that she loved her.

So yes, the monkey bars had offended her personally.

“Am I doing this right?” Kanaya ascended the small vertical bridge, and stood at the top, holding onto either side for support.

“Yes. Now hold the first bar with one hand,” Rose instructed her, watching Kanaya carry out her instructions, “Then swing yourself forward and grab the next with your other hand, and carry yourself to the other side.”

“…Rose, what is the point of this device?”

“The point is to act like a monkey.”

“And the point to all of these ‘toys’ is to behave like a monkey?”

“No. The point is to have fun. And you are meant to have fun on this one by acting like a monkey.”

“…Rose, that sounds utterly foolish.” Kanaya sighed. Humans tended toward such ridiculous behaviors. How could one have fun by pretending to be an animal? Well… Nepeta seemed to enjoy it. Maybe there was something to this.

Kanaya flung her other hand out to the next bar and grabbed it, then swung her next hand over, her eyebrows furrowed together as she concentrated on her task, pulling herself from bar to bar until she was standing on the rungs on the opposite side.

“Was it fun?” Rose asked.

“I suppose it was pleasing to successfully reach the other side.” Kanaya wasn’t sold on this though.

“Perhaps my race is unable to grasp your human concept of fun?”

“Or perhaps the monkey bars are just evil. Let’s try the slide.” Rose held out her hand and Kanaya accepted it, climbing down into the sand. Rose guided her toward a much larger ‘toy’ that seemed to be comprised of several different toys, hideously fused together in some kind of horrific experiment to create the ultimate toy but only creating a toy that had no name and no sense of self.

Rose climbed on, leading Kanaya to a narrow tunnel.

“Do it like this.” Rose swung her legs inside the tunnel, then disappeared inside it, reappearing a moment later on the ground. “Your turn!”

Kanaya mimicked Rose, putting her legs inside it, then pushing herself down. She shrieked as some unknown force propelled her downward, then spat her out onto the sand. Kanaya looked much like a cat in water; wide eyed and panicked.

“I suppose you didn’t enjoy that one either?”

“That… That was… Exhilarating! I want to go again!”

She liked this human ‘fun’.


End file.
